I think I am morally bankrupt
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
