She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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