Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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