I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
