I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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