Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
