There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I understand Curling. That high.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
