dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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