when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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