My hand turned me down
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
