so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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