Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
