whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
