she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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