Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
