i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
