can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
