Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
