I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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