I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
