Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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