Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
