We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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