you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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