____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
