Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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