her vagine was all disorganized.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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