where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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