Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
