I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
