I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
