Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
