I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
