If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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