i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
