he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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