once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
