Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
