We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
