Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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