i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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