sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
