He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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