dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
