I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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