If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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