ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
