I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
