i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
