Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
