That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
